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Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [Babygal]
Saturday, June 14, 2008 23:05

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
> Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,though,so Peter
> had to tell the first one,"Heaven's getting
> pretty close to full today,and I've been asked to
> admit only people who have had particularly horrible
> deaths. So what's your story?"
> So the first man replies: "Well,for a while I've
> suspected my wife has been cheating on me,so today I came
> home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into
> my 25th floor apartment,I could tell something was wrong,
> but all my searching around didn't reveal where this
> other guy could have been hiding. Finally,I went out to
> the balcony,and sure enough,there was this man hanging
> off the railing,25 floors above ground! By now I was
> really mad,so I started beating on him and kicking him,
> but wouldn't you know it,he wouldn't fall off. So
> finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and
> starting hammering on his fingers. Of course,he
> couldn't stand that for long,so he let go and fell
> but even after 25 stories,he fell into the bushes,stunned
> but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore,so I ran into the
> kitchen,grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where
> it landed on him,killing him instantly. But all the stress
> and anger
> got to me,and I had a heart attack and died there on the
> balcony."
>
> "That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said
> Peter,and let the man in.
>
> The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about
> heaven being full,and again asks for his story.
>
> "It's been a very strange day. You see,I live on
> the 26th floor of my apartment building,and every morning
> I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well,this morning I
> must have slipped or something,because I fell over the
> edge. But I got lucky,and caught the railing of the
> balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang
> on for very long,when suddenly this man burst out onto the
> balcony. I thought for sure I was saved,when he started
> beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could
> until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and
> started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go,but
> again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below,stunned
> but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be
> okay,this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and
> crushes me instantly,and now I'm here."
>
> Once again,Peter had to concede that that sounded like a
> pretty horrible death.
>
> The third man came to the front of the line,and again
> Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his
> story.
>
> "Picture this," says the third man,"I'm
> hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
>

Laughter is the best medicine........................Don't worry be happy

1..2..3! [manpoa]
Friday, June 13, 2008 20:23

After a few years of married life,this guy finds that he is unable to perform in bed anymore. He goes to his doctor,and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind",and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink,the shrink confesses,"I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor tells,"I can cure this",and throws some powder on a flame,and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke........ The witch doctor says,"This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news....... So,he is lying in bed with her and says "123",and suddenly he gets a massive erection. His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' for?

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [washiku]
Thursday, June 12, 2008 03:34

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

0 x 9 + 1 = 1
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

987654321 x 9 -1 = 8888888888

Brilliant,isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now,take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to

GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help

answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 91011121314 151617 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 2526.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN,look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore,one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close,and Attitude will
get you there,It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Have a nice day & God bless !!

"Tough times never last but tough peope do."

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [ikonini]
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 17:35

Any Lawyers in the House?

One evening,after attending a Rave,two gentlemen were walking down the Moi avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked,

"I'd give Ksh2500.00 to spend the night with that woman."

Much to their surprise,the young lady overheard the remark,turned around, and replied,"I'll take you up on that offer."

She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice,so after bidding his companion good night,the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.

The following morning the man presented her with Ksh1250.00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money,stating "If you don't give me the other Ksh1250.00,I'll sue you for it."

He laughed,saying "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."

Within a few days,he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case.

His lawyer said "She can't possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds,but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented."

After the usual preliminaries,the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows:

"Your honor,my client,this lady,is the owner of a piece of proper ty,a garden spot,surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery,which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of Ksh2500.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented,but upon evacuating the premises,he paid only Ksh1250.00,one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive,since it is restricted property, and we ask judgment be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance."

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defense therefore was somewhat different from the way he originally planned to present it.

"Your honor," he said,"my client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of property,which he did rent such property for a time,and a degree of pleasure was derived from t he transaction. However,my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones,sunk a shaft,and erected a pump,all labor performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount,and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said property. We,therefore,ask that judgment not be granted."

The young lady's lawyer answered thus:

"Your honor,my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. However,had the defendant not known that the well existed; he would never have rented the property. Also,upon evacuating the premises,the defendant removed the stones,pulled out the shaft,and took the pump with him. In doing so,he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery,but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy,making the property much less desirable to others. We, therefore,ask that judgment be granted."

In the Judge's decision,he provided for two options:

"Pay the Ksh1250.00 or have the equipment detached and provided to the plaintiff for damages."

The defendant wrote a cheque immediately!

`THE EASIEST WAY TO EARN MONEY ………………… IS THE HARDEST WAY` (QUOTE: Kularaha-Chairman SK Investment Co.)

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [wakater]
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 15:17

A Mother is driving her little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks,"How old are you?"

"Honey,you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite."

"Ok," the little girl says,"How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says,"these are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted,the little girl asks,"Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions,honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," said the friend," ... all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card,it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,"I know how old you are,you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks,"How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"

"Annnnd," the little girl says triumphantly,"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

just for laughs [washiku]
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 03:03

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored,he turned to the girl and said,"Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl,who was reading a book,closed it slowly and said to the guy,"What would you like to talk about?"

Oh,I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse,a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets,while a cow turns out a flat patty,and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said,"Hmmm,I have no idea."

To which the girl replied,"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

"Tough times never last but tough peope do."

Haki ya ngai!!!!!!!!!!!!! [washiku]
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 02:51

Haki ya ngai!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An American preaching couple (Reverend Mr & Mrs Stumbles) held a crusade in Kiambu where Njoroge,their Kiswahili translator,did a real mess of the whole event..... and meaning

Rev STUMBLE: Everything comes from above.!!

Njoroge : Vitu vyote huja juu juu,

STUMBLE: So you see my brothers and sisters,

Njoroge :.......Basi ndugu zangu waangalieni akina dada,

STUMBLE: know perfectly well,

Njoroge :.....Na muwajue vizuri sana ,

STUMBLE: That all world affairs,

Njoroge:.........Kwamba mapenzi yote duniani,

STUMBLE: are successfull only if held from above,

Njoroge:.............Hufanikiwa tu ikiwa mmeshikana juu juu.

STUMBLE: Remember, faith is your pillar,

Njoroge:...Kumbuka kuuamini mlingoti wako,

STUMBLE: Keep it first and above,

Njoroge:..............uuweke kwanza juu juu.

STUMBLE: Let it run very deep and stong,

Njoroge:...............Ndo kisha uukimbize ndani kabisa tena kwa nguvu,

STUMBLE:Should anybody want to test you,

Njoroge:..............Mtu yeyote akitaka kukuonja,

STUMBLE:......will feel its work,

Njoroge:...............Ataisikia kazi yake

STUMBLE: Then from deep inside you'll feel peace pouring out,

Njoroge:........ndo kisha baadaye utasikia kutoka ndani sehemu moja ikimwagika nje,

STUMBLE: That peace will flow and enter even those you are with,

Njoroge:.......Sehemu hiyo ita tiririka na kumwingia uliye naye,

STUMBLE: and that peace will remain.

Njoroge:..............Na sehemu hiyo itabakia.

STUMBLE: Amen.

Njoroge:............ Huyo ni mwanamme

"Tough times never last but tough peope do."

Mkambas nightmare... [Njung'e]
Sunday, June 08, 2008 12:19

No pun intended...

Kijana unajua jua iko juu......

Kyuk's worst nitemare [simonkabz]
Monday, June 02, 2008 17:13

Here's a kyuks worst nightmare ... anyone confident
enough,call me and read the following aloud.

1. PARALLELOGRAM
2. MALARIOLOGY
3. THE RED LORRY RARELY LEAVES LIMURU ROAD
4. TRULY RURAL,TRULY RURAL,TRULY RURAL ...
5. HOW CAN A CLAM CRAM IN A CLEAN CREAM CAN?
6. RED REAL REAR WHEELS
7. ON A LAZY LASER RAISER LIES A LASER RAY ERASER
8. REAL ROCK WALL,REAL ROCK WALL,REAL ROCK WALL
9. A BLACK BLOKE'S BACK BRAKE-BLOCK BROKE
10. REALLY LEERY,RARELY LARRY
11. A LUMP OF RED LEAD,A RED LEAD LUMP
12. YELLOW LORRY,BLUE LORRY
13. LITERALLY LITERARY

The Way Of The Tiger

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [simonkabz]
Monday, June 02, 2008 16:46

Mke na mume walisikizana wakitaka ngono watatumia code "kupiga simu" ili watoto wasielewe.

Basi siku moja walikua wameteta hawasemezani.

Baba akamtuma mtoto: " mwambie mamako nataka simu!"

Mama akamwambia mtoto: " mwambie imeharibika!"

Baba akanena: " mwambie basi nitakwenda kupiga nje"

Mama akamtuma mtoto: " Mwambie akienda kupiga nje na mimi nitafungua simu ya jamii !!!"

The Way Of The Tiger

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [simonkabz]
Monday, June 02, 2008 16:39

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,"I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said,“What do you mean,almost?” The Irishman said,“Well,we got undressed and rubbed together,but then I stopped.”
The priest said,“Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance,say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”
The Irishman left the confessional,said his prayers,and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest,who was watching,quickly ran over to him saying,“I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”
The Irishman replied,“Yeah,but I rubbed the $50 on the box,and according to you,that’s the same as putting it in!”

The Way Of The Tiger

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [sss]
Friday, May 30, 2008 10:39

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS......

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
woman waving at him. She
says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he says,"Do you know me?"

To which she replies,

"I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and
says,"My God,are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I made love to on the pool table
with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my
butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,"No,I'm your son's
teacher!!

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [steve.m]
Friday, May 30, 2008 10:38

The bride tells her husband

The bride tells her husband,"Honey,you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK,Sweetheart. Putting it simply,we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards,the guy is lying face up on the bed,smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him,his bride giggles,"Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side,he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent,the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl,thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love,gives him
a suggestive smile,"Honey,the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion,but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards,he lays back on the bed,totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says,"Honey,the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head,He YELLS at her,"Hey,its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Together At Last

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again,Her husband died. But,she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas,she finally died.

Standing before her coffin,the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,“Lord,they’re finally together.”

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend,“Do you think he means her first,second or third husband?” The friend replied,“I think he means her legs.”

When Logic Prevails

Two nuns went out of their convent for a walk. One of them is
known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known
as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they were still
far away from the convent.

SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the
past half-hour?

SM: Yes,I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh,no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the
most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So,what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one
minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way
and I'll go this way. He cannot follows us both. So the man
decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what
has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us
both,so he followed me.

SM: Yes,yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as
I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh,dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh,Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh,no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical,Sister? A nun with her dress up can run
faster than a man with his pants down...

NeedS

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says,"I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

The husband says " WHAT???" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife,We 'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out,but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says "but you don 't even play tennis,but OK if you like it then lets get it.'

The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says " I am ready to go,lets go to the cash register. "

The husband says," no no no,honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife face goes blank.

" No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says " You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!"

Marriage Quotes By Men

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case,it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money,a beautiful house,a big car,the love of a beautiful woman; then,Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay,but if you get home before I do,leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose,would you go to lunch or to a movie?

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that,he is finished.

Birthday Present

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says,"Hey,Mash! Life iko aje?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh,no," says Dave. "He's on my rugby team."

When they are seated,a waitress asks Mash if he'd like his usual and brings over a tusker.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink tusker?"

"She's our rugby chear leader."

A stripper then comes over to their table,throws her arms around Mash,and says "Hi Mash. Want your usual table dance,big boy?"

Mash's wife,now furious,grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Mash follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door,he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else,but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says,"Looks like you picked up a real b**** tonight,Mash."

lie is a tragedy to those who feel while to those who think its a comedy

Something to cool dem nerves!!!!!! [Kimuti]
Friday, May 30, 2008 08:49

A man who went to church with his wife always fell asleep during the
sermon. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday,she took
a long hatpin with her to poke him with every time he would doze off. As
the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out,"And who
created all there is in six days and rested on the seventh," she poked
her husband,who came flying out of the pew and screamed,"Good God
almighty!"

The minister said,"That's right,that's right," and went on with his
sermon. The man sat back down,muttering under his breath and later began
to doze off again. When the minister got to,"And who died on the cross
to save us from our sins," the wife hit him again,and he jumped up and
shouted,"Jesus Christ!" The minister said,"That's right,that's right,"
and went on with his sermon.

The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister
got to,"And what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second
child?" the wife started to poke the husband again,but he jumped up and
said,"If you stick that damn thing in me again,I'll break it off!"

Life is a gift,sustained by your contribution

Never lie to a mother [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 21:16

Mom comes to visit her son Njoroge for dinner...who lives with a girl roommate Wambui...

During the course of the meal,his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Njoroge's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two,and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening,while watching the two interact,she started to wonder if there was more between Njoroge and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom' s thoughts,Njoroge volunteered," I know what you must be thinking,but I assure you,Wambui and I are just roommates." About a week later,Wambui came to Njoroge saying,"Ever since your mother came to dinner,I' ve been unable to find the maize flour. "You don't suppose she took it,do you? " "Well,I doubt it,but I 'll email her,just to be sure " So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother,I 'm not saying that you did take the maize flour from my house,I 'm not saying that you did not take the maize flour. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love,Njoroge.

Several days later,Njoroge received an email from his Mother which read:

Dear Son,I 'm not saying that you do sleep with Wambui,and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Wambui. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her OWN bed,she would have found the maize
flour under her pillow by now.

Love,

ma

Mum.

Moral of the Story..... Don' t Lie to Your mother...especially if she is African!

The Way Of The Tiger

Truth be told [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 21:06

Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now,after the marriage………. you can read it from bottom to top!!

The Way Of The Tiger

CSI: Busted!! [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 21:03

Read this question,come up with an answer,and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.

No one I know has been right.

A woman,while at the funeral of her own mother,met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much,that she fell in love with him right there,but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer,see answer below )

Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly,you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly,good for you.

If you got the answer correct,please let me know so I can be on the lookout...

The Way Of The Tiger

S**t [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 20:58

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE : "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND : "Definitely not!"

WIFE : "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND : "Of course I do."

WIFE :   "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND : "Okay,okay,I'd get married again."

WIFE : "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND : (makes audible groan)

WIFE : "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND : "Sure,it's a great house."

WIFE : "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND : "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE : "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND : "Probably,it is almost new."

WIFE : "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND : "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE :   "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND : "No,I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE :   "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND : "No,she's left-handed."

WIFE : silence

HUSBAND : "sh*t."

The Way Of The Tiger

Scrabble [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 20:55

Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

RAILA:
When you rearrange the letters:
A LIAR

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)

The Way Of The Tiger

The obedient wife [simonkabz]
Thursday, May 29, 2008 20:52

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

"Girl,I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied,"Listen,I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together,put it into my account,and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it,then he can spend it."

The Way Of The Tiger